December 2009
58 posts
proudtobefilipino:
Girl: If you were a thing, what would you be?
Boy: Your everything.
(by ayakaa-chic)
"English murdered by Pinoys..."
proudtobefilipino:
letsflipthecoin:
“Guys, let’s call it tonight!” “All of a suddenly…” “C’mon! Let’s get it on with it!” “When it rains, it’s four.” “Thanks God!” “The nerves!” or “The nerd!” “The idea crossed at the back of my mind.” “(name of person), eat your hat out!” “This is our rooster of clients…” “The more the many-er.” “It’s a no-win-win situation.” “Burn the bridge when you get...
A Blonde Pinay
A blonde Pinay, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. ‘Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?’ The blond Pinay said, ‘How about pipty...
Walang Syota
Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!
Sa airplane..
Sa isang mumurahing airline...
Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po.
Utot
Pupil: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot?
Teacher: No! Definitely not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi bumubukol ang utot...
Pupil: Naku patay! Tae na to!
Dalawang mayabang...
Usapan ng dalawang mayabang....
Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala niya ang dyaryo sa akin.
Diego: Alam ko.
Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?
Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.
Pangarap
Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
Toto: Hindi! Yan din ang pangarap niya!
Mayaman - Mahirap
Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!
Almusal(at dito)
Donya: Bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empuntu!
Maid: Walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna na kayong mag-almusal!
Horoscope
Sweethearts watchin' the sky...
Guy: Ano ang horoscope mo?
Girl: Anong huruskup?
Guy: Yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER.
Girl: Ah, sa akin ALMURANAS!
Overseas call
IDD call from US:
Husband: Hon, musta ang tindahan?
Wife: Department store na!
Husband: Ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: Ang mga tri-sikad?
Wife: Taxi na!
Husband: Ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: Lima na!
Ano ang pagkain?
Mister: Ano ang pagkain natin?
Misis: Nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
Mister: Isang pirasong tuyo? ano pagpipilian ko?
Misis: Pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!
May Pasok Ba? →
I swore I wasn’t going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just...
– Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 13, p.312
Yeah, I’ll always be your friend. No matter what you love.
– Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 18, p.409